We spend so much time in the run-up to Mother's Day, trying our best to create something unique for some of the very best mum's out there who will be receiving one of our beautiful gifts, although we do recognise that some of you won't have the pleasure of sending such a gift.
Here is a short blog, especially for you.
We hope it helps.
Waking up on Mother’s Day without mum can be emotionally difficult regardless of how much time has gone by since her passing. The onset of the occassion can cause waves of sadness as memories and constant reminders of her can be overwhelming.
Jane Greer, Ph.D., a New York-based marriage and family therapist and author of The Afterlife Connection, advises that you shouldn’t ignore the day or hide away in sorrow. It’s important to find ways to honour her memory by keeping up with traditions you shared, writing her a letter, or even getting together with those who are grieving her.
Greer reminds us that, “She is there. Just in a different way.” To keep that connection, consider one of the following ideas:
Take time to make a meal your mother enjoyed; bring a flower to her grave; set a place for her at the dinner table; write her a poem; talk to her; start a scrapbook of her life; tell stories about her to your kids; wear an item of hers that holds sentimental value; take time to pray; donate to a charity she loved; listen to music that she cherished.
Mother’s Day without her physical presence may be hard to accept, but finding a meaningful way to honor her memory can bring comfort and peace. Let her presence be known and you can rest assured that she will still be there in spirit.
Preserve those special memories.
Take the time to reflect and take part in activities that were meaningful to you and the person who passed away. Perhaps you could recreate an experience that you used to share by visiting a restaurant where you often ate brunch together and ordering her favourite item, or even going to a beloved coffee shop to have a cup of coffee in her memory. Through these meaningful experiences, you can honour the legacy she left behind.
Write her a card.
Buying your late mother a card on Mother's Day can be a great way to honour her memory. You can take it a step further and write what you would have written to her if she were still alive, adding extra words of love. You could even get a card that you believe she would have given you and sign it from her. Doing this will be meaningful to you and can help you cope with your grief.
Visit her grave.
Taking some time to pay tribute to the memory of a beloved family member by visiting their final restingplace can be incredibly healing. Greer recommends this for her clients, stating it provides a chance to feel connected once again. If the burial site is accessible, it might be beneficial to make a short trip there in order to take some time for reflection. The tranquil environment of cemeteries can be conducive to this purpose and offer a sense of peace.
Plan a celebration with siblings.
During Mothering Sunday, it may bring you a sense of comfort to spend it with your siblings, or anyone who had a meaningful relationship with your mother. Reach out to those people to plan a small and intimate gathering to commemorate your mother's life, and to remember the joy, fellowship and bond that existed between you all. It may become a valued family custom in time.
“Uniting together to express your sadness is not only comforting, but may even bring about a transformation in the grieving process.”
Look for the signs.
On the day of the event, you may still find it difficult to plan anything elaborate. In Greer's opinion, recognising that your mother remains with you is what matters most. These signs can be recognised if you pay attention to them and are aware of them. The closer you get to her, the more likely you are to realise that she is always nearby you, whether you are watching nature, listening to music, eating or smelling something that reminds you of her.